A list of filthy, nasty stories about Julian Assange has been e-mailed to journalists around the the globe from the Wikileaks Corporation. Newspapers and chat-show hosts are being enjoined not to tell these tales, lest they risk a libel suit.
Oddly, one of the most persistent rumors is nowhere on the e-mailed list. That concerns Assange’s pet iguana, which escaped from the Ecuadoran embassy two years ago.
Assange is however vaguely accused of having neglected a pet, species unknown.
Among the defamatory porkies banned by Wikileaks:
- Julian Assange does not wash his feet.
- He is stinky.
- He bleaches his hair.
- He reads the Daily Mail.
- He spends his afternoons drinking himself into a stupor on Jägermeister, and watching old episodes of Blue Peter and Rainbow in a darkened room.